19 January 2010

of surgeons, snacks, and pee

yesterday, i had to use the restroom between surgeries. i asked a secretary person in the OR where the nearest facilities were, and she led me to a staff lounge, telling me there was one in there. i walked in to the lounge and found two people eating food and talking. i found the bathroom and, eh, did what people do in the bathroom, and when i walked out, the guy eating a salad said to me "you know, there are lots of bathrooms around here. [he named an alternative location.] it's ok if you use this one [he said this in a way that meant it was not ok if i use that one], but when there are people eating here....it's just...[a long pause to let you know something special was about to come from this man's mouth]...the smell of the urine, and the food...it just makes me want to put a knife to someone's throat. [he actually said, with no trace of irony or sarcasm]."

there are probably 500 completely appropriate responses to such a comment that would unfortunately be completely inappropriate, given the context and my status (none. no status) at the hospital. so i went with a response that would only seem sarcastic if you realized how ridiculous that guy's statement was. "wow," i said, GRAVELY, "i certainly hope you don't cut anyone's neck on behalf of my urine's smell!"

he sighed heavily, so that i'd better understand the burden he was carrying for my sake, and he said, "no, it's alright...it's just...you know."

so i laughed and left the room.

ugh, the OR!!!

5 comments:

Evan said...

that's awesome.

Tiger Mom said...

thanks for the laugh, Jeremy.
If only I had thought of using that comment for the guys who were working on my kitchen and Never Ever Ever Put the Lid Down...

Anonymous said...
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Jordan said...

i think that was me. sorry to have offended you.

Julianna said...

I've stabbed people on account of your urine smell.