Overheard at the Old Job (R.I.P.)

Hi folks. Kim here. So I was just cleaning out my old drafts folder and came across a message that I'd use to keep a running record of things I overheard at my old office - specifically comments from my boss, Barb. And I just need someone to share them with.

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(Friday morning, and Barb is preparing to use our weekly team meeting to show us how to make one of those paper finger games that you used to play in 4th grade.)
Barb: "We're going to use it to learn something."
Employee: "Like how to teach letters and numbers and colors!"
Barb: "No. Something better than that. That's boring."

* * * *

(Regarding mentoring and training employees.)
Thursday: "You can't teach anyone anything by just handing them the manual."
Friday, while distributing manuals: "You should all read this. I'll copy it. Just read this and then you'll understand."

* * * *

(After a particularly convoluted monologue by Barb to the employees.)
Employee: "I'm feeling confused."
Barb: "That's how it gets this time of year."

* * * *

(Regarding a job applicant who has her M.Ed. in English instruction)
"I was really impressed! She understood everything I was saying, even though she's from Poland!"

* * * *

(Regarding another African American job applicant.)
"Oh, she's quick. She's got street smarts. She's learned a lot from life out there on the streets."

* * * *

(Regarding a school principal named Mr. Kim who was not returning her calls.)
Barb: "It's because of his culture. They don't care about family over there."
Kim: "Where is he from?"
Barb: "Probably Asia."
(Turns out he was on vacation.)

* * * *

(Regarding an employee.)
"The thing is, she's from Michigan, and from a certain area, and I've learned - Michigan women have a certain way of doing things. And they want it done that way. They're very controlling."

* * * *

Under the category "Unprompted, Random and Abrupt":
1. Walks in the room and declares, "By the way, Willis is getting fur."
(Sorry, were we talking? And do I know this "Willis"?)

2. Phone rings, I answer, Barb - phoning from the room next door - says, "What video thing?!" (I don't KNOW "What video thing..." YOU'RE the one calling ME!)

3. Standing by the copier, exclaims to no one in particular, "Special ed. Those teachers make a lot more money than you or I. $80,000! Ha ha ha!"

* * * *

Oh, how I wish I had recorded the hundred bazillion more...