my summer vacation

this summer, back when the blog backlog (clog) was building up, kim and i went to seattle. we had lots of fun, and planned on writing a really long post with lots of pictures. we almost got around to it, and then we didn't, and then we didn't post anything for several months. for some reason i thought of some of those pictures today, and i'm posting them now without much in the way of explanation, other than to say that the pietsch's, who live in seattle and who we were visiting out there, like to play a little something called "apple baseball" (which is exactly what it sounds like and is exactly as awesome as it sounds), and we also got to play. we also played old bread baseball and watermelon baseball and can of V8 baseball. it was fun and delicious.

the exploding bread is cool, sure, but look at my face. i am very much in the moment right there.







nate not only made a decent cup of apple juice here, he's also showing he's got a swing that means business. that's commitment to apple baseball right there, folks.




caity makes some applesauce.









again with the face. this should be on an atkins diet billboard. "DEATH TO CARBS," it'd say.







ah, summer: friends, sports, and watermelon.








the aftermath. sweet, sweet aftermath.








trevor opens a can of V8 by opening a can of whoopass on a can of V8.







jeremy pietsch is so proud of his work here. "look what i made!!!"









here's some video footage of the carnage.

oh my red:






i'ma make it rain!!!:

and the winner is...

the final count on the night was 9 jokers and 7 sarah palins in the couple of hours i walked around the north side. i'm not sure who that means wins, but i'm pretty sure anybody in either of those costumes loses.

i told my friends i'd go to their parties, and then didn't show up. on monday i'll explain i was the cubs' hitting in the playoffs. the chicago assimilation is going great!

not quite political

i'm not super into politics, and this is hardly a political blog, but it's sort of in the air and basically unavoidable recently, and all that talk has occasionally touched on a topic that i feel pretty strongly about. (long-time readers might even recognize this picture from the last time it showed up on this blog.) so strongly, in fact, that i've decided to share a sonnet with you (bet you didn't see that coming!). it's "the new colossus" by emma lazarus, and even if the title doesn't ring any bells for you, and even if you've never heard the whole thing before, i'm willing to bet you'll recognize at least part of it, and know where it can famously be found:

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

that's not in our nation's constitution, but it is undeniably in our DNA (literally, even). whatever your thoughts on border control, undocumented employment, and deportation policy, let the debate start here, at what is not only one of this country's greatest values, but also one of the most valuable sources of our country's greatness. (now i'm talking like a real politician! antimetabole for president '08!)

the epic target debacle

kim and i recently found ourselves in the market for a new bookcase. this was due in part to the ridiculous amount of books one accrues in the process of a medical school education (and the desire to display them to guests--"i know anatomy! i am SMART!"), but also due to the fact that we removed the back from our old bookcase so we could reach the light switch behind it, causing some instability and necessitating the use of a curtain rod for propping up ("i ruined my bookcase...on purpose! i am perhaps not as smart as you thought!").

anyway, like most people do when they want a nice, solid piece of wooden furniture, we turned to target for our furnishing needs. and it was there we found an incredible pre-fab piece of wood and wood-like substances, with only some assembly required. i figured i could handle this assembly with no problem, and i tore into the box. but could i handle it? in your mind, you should be weighing out the evidence presented by the old bookcase: lots of medicine books....but the bookcase itself is broken...on purpose. place your bets accordingly.

fast forward a couple hours. i've just done the only step in the entire process which, if done incorrectly, will irreparably destroy the bookcase when kim comes home. i show her the (nearly completed) work in progress, to which she says "is it supposed to look like that?" and i looked at it, and actually, no. it is not supposed to look like that, with the front part in the back and vice-versa, and screw holes in the part that should be the front. round 1 to the bookcase.

so kim and i went to target to select another bookcase. i asked the customer service rep, in entirely hypothetical terms, if a bookcase could be returned if it had been opened and partially assembled. she replied in the affirmative, so we began our search for bookcase #2. as we browsed the different display offerings, i noted with some satisfaction that the bookcase i'd just mangled at home had the exact same screw holes in the front that i'd given it--so maybe i'm not so smart, but at least i'd potentially make it at target. maybe. let's see how we fared at target.

here in "the big city", space is at a premium, and accordingly buildings are built up to make up for the lack of horizontal space. in a target, this means 2 story targets, which has given rise to the cart-friendly escalator (see pic). so we loaded up our cart with a few other things we needed (several bouncy balls, giant kooshballs, and toys for kim's ESL classes, some socks and underwear for me, and so on), and then we put it all into our cart. i didn't take a picture, so i'm using google images to find for you an approximation of what we were dealing with by the time we loaded our favorite bookcase into the cart:



and onto the escalator our load went, and happily it rode for about 3 seconds until gravity, that malicious little fiend, finally had its way with it, and the whole cart flipped forward, launching, catapult-like, all its contents out into target's airspace. aside from the loud and awkward crashing of the projectile bookcase, it looked very much like a target commercial, as all the underwear and colorful rubber balls arced merrily through the air among smiling white people wearing tasteful sweaters and browsing through cheap goods. it was a glorious scene, and would have also been basically harmless were it not for the fact that those overgrown koosh balls landed at the bottom of the people escalator, got sucked into the gears, and completely stopped the escalator from further functioning.

kim and i walked away and got our bookcase at a different target.

pictorial update essay, pt. 5--anniversaries

On June 30 we made it to our 1st Anniversary – much to our own great surprise. Despite being extremely busy with school stuff, Jeremy found a way to sneak around and craft an incredible surprise treasure hunt. I came home from work on July 3 to find an empty house and a poem about zombies. Tres romantique! The poem led me to a glass head sculpture where Jeremy had hidden the next clue – a list of “inside references” that we’d cultivated over the last year about locations in our neighborhood. So I got on my bike and criss-crossed the neighborhood collecting sealed envelopes from under mailboxes, behind street signs, and from local shopkeepers.


Each envelope held a line from one of our favorite songs – “This Will Be Our Year” by the Zombies – which, when I put them in order, provided latitude and longitude coordinates. So I used the GPS to follow them downtown to where Jeremy had managed to get us an executive suite at the Hyatt, overlooking Lake Michigan, the river, and Navy Pier. After getting our free happy hour and dessert buffet, we walked 5 minutes to the Independence Day fireworks over the lake. What a clever clever boy!

The next day, the 4th of July, we wandered downtown for a while, watched the kids playing in the fountains in Millenium Park and finally headed to a friend’s BBQ. And then, the REAL fun began… as the sun started to set in Pilsen, the cars disappeared from the streets as families emerged with literally armloads of fireworks. From about 8 pm to 2 am, our neighborhood was about as close to a war zone as I ever hope to get – smoke billowing through the streets, explosions everywhere, sparks and shrapnel flying, booms, cracks, hisses, and ratatats echoing off of buildings. At one point we had to ride our bikes through it, and we can attest to the fact that fearing for your life is a great adrenaline rush.

From the roof our building, we could see probably thousands of fireworks being set off all across the city. It was the best 4th of July ever – a 360 degree panoramic show. Here's a video of a little bit of what it looked (and sounded) like:

pictorial update essay, pt. 4--nebraska

After Sigur Rós, we went on to Lincoln and enjoyed several days of awesomeness and fun. During the rest of our stay, we spent lots of time with the Howes, enjoyed expanses of green grass such as Chicago has not seen for some time, ate excellent food (Jeremy's nephew Landon especially enjoyed his ice cream, as you can see), enjoyed Lincoln, played with kittens (and more kittens!) and other examples of Nebraskan wildlife, saw more friends, went bike riding, and – best of all – got to borrow the kayaks for a couple afternoons to cruise the rivers and creeks and enjoy ourselves thoroughly. Here's some photographic evidence of our exploits:





On the water, kayaking like explorers on the Amazon (that's what we were pretending, anyway).










Do you know how hard it is to get a shot like this from separate kayaks? It's really hard.






KITTENS!!!











By the end of our visit, the recent tornadoes and rainfall had only exacerbated the rising floodwaters in Iowa, and on the way home, we were forced to take a 4 hour detour around the river. Even that was a close call, as we found ourselves in water up to the hubcaps at one crossing. We stopped for lunch in Iowa City, only to find our Burger King underwater. It is a very surreal thing to look down a street and see familiar distinctions like curbs and white dashes and stop signs all erased while the wide expanse of water slides smoothly and seamlessly from building to building. Note also our friends Chase and Kara, who were very open to exploring and enjoying the adventure (such as it was), except for the part where the detours meant we didn't get home until 1 or 2am...none of us were particularly excited about that. But we made it home in one piece, and thankfully, dry.

Coming up next: the 4th of July and anniversary celebrations! Stay tuned!

pictorial update essay, pt. 3--sigur ros

editor’s note: this post was, in an inspiring display of marital harmony and compromise, co-written by jeremy and kim. democracy!

after the bike crash and the beginning of the euro, we come chronologically to our great trip west, to nebraska. the timing of this trip coincided (not coincidentally) with a sigur ros show in omaha. but we cracked open the ol’ wallet and found that 6 hours of gas each way was going to cost us a pretty penny. so we put an ad on craigslist for company, and got two students from the art institute to join us--chase (who looks vaguely like a musketeer) and kara (who appears to be leasing out her clothes and skin to be a safety pin breeding ground). but as the return trip was more interesting than the first leg, we'll hear more about them later and skip right ahead to the show.

in omaha, we met our nebraska friends for dinner in the old market and ate our corn-fed beef while listening to tornado warning sirens wail outside the windows. just as we were leaving we heard the service staff telling everyone in the restaurant to move away from the windows. a sane person would probably conclude it'd be better to stay put for a minute, but a sane person would run the risk of missing the show--not an option! about 5 steps out the door of the restaurant, a torrential downpour began and we became almost instantly soaked. we ran the 4 blocks to the theatre and arrived soggy and dripping, to discover a scene something like this:

i'm borrowing the photo from pitchfork here, but the point is that those several hundred people were all huddled together under the marquee, shrinking back from the rain. we squished ourselves into the edge of (only slightly drier) people, and there were told that there was a tornado warning, and they weren't letting people in until it passed. let's take a paragraph break while that fema-style disaster management sets in, shall we?

the ushers watched us sternly from the warm, dry other side of the glass for 45 minutes, until it was deemed safe enough to enter. even then, we were only allowed to wander around the lobby. by the time the concert had been delayed 2 hours, the humid, steamy mass of people was beginning to foment into the beginnings of a rebellion, when from the underbelly of the theatre we heard the sound of horns and drums. we followed the music and pushed our way through a crowd of onlookers, past a couple ushers, and down a flight of stairs to find ourselves face to face with the members of sigur ros and amiina. we were so close we could smell the sweat and feel the vibrations of the drums as they created this joyous impromptu drum circle in the basement. after a while, they marched off to other parts of the basement, and a little while later, the real concert started.

the concert itself was great. this was (i’m trying my best not to brag here) my fourth time seeing them, and other than the time i met jonsi before the show and he put me on the guest list (really trying!) or the time i was in the second row and brushed wayne coyne’s butt as i walked by him (trying really really hard!), this was definitely the best show i’ve ever seem them do. they are touring their new album with a 13-piece ensemble—the band, amiina (the string quartet), and a five piece horn troupe. the sound was enormous, and even though the show at times felt like a dress rehearsal (this was a 4-show tour that included a completely unadvertised show in omaha, nebraska, after all), it was a really great experience and i assume was incredibly inspiring and moving for all in attendance (other than kim, of course, who fell asleep at various times throughout). as the internet is already littered with pictures of jonsi grimacing as he sings and plays, here's a shot of the aftermath.

stay tuned for tomorrow’s installment with even more nebraskan adventures.

pictorial update essay, pt. 2--the euro

the european championships have been going on for the last 2-3 weeks. i've watched a lot of games on the internet, which for most of the time looked a lot like the above. this has been the best soccer tournament i've ever personally witnessed, based on the quality of play, the amount of drama and excitement, and also because my favorite european team (spain) has done very well and enters today's final against germany as the best team in the tournament.

two years ago i wrote a long and lengthy post on this very blog extolling the virtues of international soccer, and i'll save you my long-winded thoughts on the game and national identity, national pride, and the incredibly intricate anthropological aspects of the spanish psyche as it pertains to their team and its success and failure. (aaron and i have, in the last couple days, have had several lengthy conversations about these matters, so CLEARLY it's a fascinating topic). suffice it to say, though, that if you don't have anything else going on at 1:45 CST this afternoon, it would be a very worthwhile experience to head to whatever sports bar in your neck of the woods will show soccer games, and blend in to whatever international community your neck of the woods has, and shout until you're hoarse at the television screens there. i know i will. ¡¡¡QUE VIVA ESPAÑA¡¡¡

pictorial update essay, pt. 1--the wreck

sorry about the delay in posting--there's been lots happening, and therefore so much to tell, but unfortunately also so little time to tell. since there's so much to say, and since a picture is worth a thousand words, it stands to reason that the most efficient method of catching up is with a lot pictures. because otherwise these posts would be even longer(!).

so, let's see here. when we left our story (forgetting kim's...incident), aaron was in town. we had a great time, and i think aaron will probably back me up when i say that you should come visit us, too--it's good times. so aaron went home, and kim and i went back to our normal lives. and that's where our story begins...

some morning shortly after aaron left, i decided after waking up around 5:30 (which i usually do) that i would go for a bike ride. this is something that i've been wanting to make a regular part of my summer since about the fifth snowstorm of our crappy winter, and all winter i dreamt of how amazing it would be while stumbling through the snow. i imagined myself waking up every morning, going on long epic bike rides, and really enjoying starting my day with vigorous exercise, breathtaking views of the lake, and probably insightful thoughts or beautiful poetry written while sitting on a rock by the lake. in search of all of this excitement and more, this particular morning i rode down to the 57th street beach, and i got off the trail, walked around, and enjoyed the feel of sand on my feet. aaaaah, what a relaxing, great start to a lovely summer day.

as i sat on the beach, however, a menacing, foreboding wind stirred up over the lake and blew onshore (FORESHADOWING!!!). i sat it out (still waiting for my early morning, lakeside epiphany), but eventually i got tired of picking sand out of my eyes, so i decided to head home. the ride home was really nice, because the wind was at my back--i was going fast, enjoying life, and feeling like nothing could possibly be wrong in the world. but (FORESHADOWING) i was wrong. i approached the 18th street bridge and began the difficult climb to the top, digging in and probably imagining that i was winning the tour de france (i often imagine myself winning competitions during mundane parts of the day. throwing paper in the trash can: "3...2...jeremy shoots...1...HE SCORES!!! JEREMY WINS!!!" or while speedwalking to cross the street before the light changes: "and it's jeremy by a nose!!!". or while buttering my toast:"ladies and gentlemen, i think we may have just witnessed the first ever perfect butter/toast application. we await the score from the judges...6.0, 6.0, 6.0, 6.0, and from japan...6.0!!! jeremy has done it!!! the gold medal in the toast competition goes to jeremy and the united states!!! it's the miracle on wheat!!!" but i digress). so i crested the epic incline at the bridge, and did that thing that riders do when they win the tour de france. you know, they sit back, hands off the handlebars, and soak in the glory of their accomplishment. and i was so basking when the aforementioned wind decided that it was finished doing me favors for the day, and it was payback time. the wheels went sideways, i quickly grabbed my handlebars, there was a general sprawling and frantic scramble and spectacle (and i swear just as i was going over the front of my bike i thought of this) and i ended flattened, breathless, and unwilling to move, and unnaturally intimate with the pavement. i said "ooooh, oooooh, oooooh" for awhile, and finally i decided i'd rather not be run over, so i dragged myself to the corner. when i got home, here was the damage:



well, and also there was this intense rib pain which has stuck with me since, making me look (feel) like an invalid while getting out of bed. i think i may have broken my rib, which is really painful and really slow to heal. the pain is so intense, i haven't been able to ride my bike since.

but at least i won the tour de france.

Kim vs. A Pressing Urgency

Jeremy's been begging me for weeks to contribute something to the blog, and I've been delaying while I ponder what truly remarkable, insightful piece I could submit. I've had a number of really great insights, stories, etc. collecting to be shared with all of you. Unfortunately, THIS story is not one of them. Jeremy insists, however, that it must be told.

It all started early one Monday morning, when everything was under control in the ol' excretory system. No urgent business, if you know what I mean. I got to the office early and got started on some projects. I had to make an appointment with the doctor, so I though I'd call early, before everyone else arrived.

I dialed the number, and just as the voice on the other line picked up, I felt it. That critical, undeniable, URGENT need.

But instead of hanging up, I figured, "I can handle this. I'm an adult. My sphincter knows who's the boss here."

So we start through the preliminaries:
name
last name
middle name
maiden name
mother's maiden name
phone number
mother's phone number
insurer
insurer's phone number
and so on...

Little by little, I start shifting weight, folding and unfolding myself. People are now arriving for work, and I greet them with an awkward grimace.

I'm squeezing with enough force to crack a walnut. Or possibly a coconut.

Then - right in between "Hang on the line while I check for availabilities" and "Just a few minutes more..." I realize that the sensation has changed.

To my horror, I realize that something is ever so slowly making it's way towards freedom.

And I think, "Oh s***." (And indeed it was.)

Let me take this moment to talk with you about transcendent experiences. They say that when you have one, your senses become finely tuned, your awareness heightened and perhaps focused sharply on some new enlightenment. I think I understand this feeling. In this moment, everything in the room became eerily silent, as the entire focus of my body concentrated like a laser on the new enlightenment that I had actually... pooped my pants. It was a feeling of deep

understanding that I cannot fully express.

The woman FINALLY comes back on the line and I'm like, "okaythat'sgreatnextweekokayfinebye."

At this point I'm now using sheer force of IMAGINATION to keep things under control and praying for some suspension of the laws of physics and gravity just so i can keep my dignity.

I slam the phone down and waddle out of the office, knees squeezed together, vision starting to blur.

Avoiding people down the interminably long hallway, I dive into the bathroom and find myself face to face with Shuffly Tom, the cleaning guy.

I shove his bewildered self out the door with a curt, "I REALLY need this room right now!" and rush towards freedom in a 3'x4' cubicle.

If you are on the edge of your seat (as I was), you will be relieved to know (as I was), that I escaped mostly unscathed. And no one was the wiser.

Until now. When, much to the chagrin of my mother, I cast all dignity aside for your middle-school amusement.

I ask only one thing of you: make this story even more grand and glorious by adding fabulous and quasi-embarrasing stories of your own! Yay!

wish you were here

as you may recall, my good friend aaron is in town this week to enjoy some chicago summertime fun. i thought since he's here and doesn't have anything better to do i'd have him guest-write about our activities thus far. aaron, take it away!

my name is aaron and i got jeremy's secret password, guarded by several laser beam-emitting guard dogs whose breath releases tiny little tracking devises which eventually shoot spikes that drive straight through your heart if you're not him. needless to say, it was a pretty tough, but i was inspired by the most recent film i saw, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." thanks george lucas. i thought there would be aliens involved at some point in my quest, but jeremy remained unpredictable even in his password defense system. he obviously did not consult mr. lucas. this, however, is not the purpose of my entry. it is, rather, to talk about the current state of affairs in chicago since i am here.

yesterday i arrived just in time to watch the usa v. england soccer match. even though the usa looked poorly outmatched, that did not mean that a person could not have fun in this country. we soon made that fun part of our life with an evening of grilling burgers topped with 7 or 8 different condiments. it felt more like the america i was used to. if there had been a burger- stacking competition with us (jeremy, kim, and i) versus some brits (let's say, tony blair, winston churchill, and king john) i'd say we would make them miss revolutionary war-era america.

anyway, lots of fun is set up for the next 2 days. a concert tonight, a spy game this afternoon (look for me reading suspiciously in a café, jeremy playing his guitar ever so slyly on the corner, and kim strategically yakking on her cell phone). tomorrow we have an ushering gig at some highfalutin theatre. maybe jerm will blog about it later.

-aaron

summer music

at some point during this long, cold, bitter winter, i tried to cheer myself up by putting together a playlist to play when it warmed up. well, summer finally came to chicago (it seems it was just waiting for the memorial day weekend), and we've even had a couple days in a row with highs over the 70's. so this morning while doing some cleaning, i broke out the list, which i thought i'd share with you all.

as you may or may not be aware, when a music geek shares a playlist with you, he's got one or more of a few different motivations in mind. he might want some feedback (you'd think only the positive kind, but actually music geeks thrive on lots of criticism and debate--playlists have been known to consume an entire evening's conversation). often he is trying to share some music that he suspects you have not heard, and without which he is convinced your life cannot be complete (to put it bluntly and at the risk of seeming undiplomatic, he wants to "educate" you). or perhaps he wants some suggestions, an outside ear to supply the song or two that he feels is missing from making his mix complete. this particular list needs a bit of the first and a bit of the last--after putting it on today i felt like it needed some work.

i have titled this list "sunny, high in the 60's and 70's", and the criteria for the list is all nicely contained in the title: this is a list of happy, possibly drug-influenced (or, as they said at the time, "psychedelic") songs from the 60's and 70's. this particular list is kind of a party mix, which is to say i just want to put it on random--no sequencing necessary. here goes, in no particular:

"windy", the association
"stoned me", van morrison
"so happy together", the turtles
"summer in the city", lovin spoonful
"i was made to love her", stevie wonder
"uptight (everything is alright)", stevie wonder
"a summer song", chad and jeremy
"i want you back", jackson 5
"she'd rather be with me", turtles
"cherish", the association
"abc", jackson 5
"cool it down" the velvet underground
"in the summertime", mungo jerry
"who loves the sun", the velvet underground
"the village green preservation society", the kinks
"signed, sealed, delivered i'm yours", stevie wonder
"this will be our year", the zombies
"elenore", the turtles

a few notes. first of all, that's two artists with three songs, which i usually try to avoid. also, there's a few pretty melancholy songs, but i have to say i think they're good counterpoints, and most of them have at least a sunny chorus. also, the most glaring omissions are probably the beatles and of course the boys of summer, the beach boys. there were just too many to choose from when i made the list and i ended up leaving them off to decide later, but i forgot all about it and now it's sunny out so obviously i'll need your help with those. right now this playlist clocks in under an hour, and it pretty much can't be too long, so don't be bashful--help me out!!!

summer to-do

since this summer is both the first and last break we'll have as medical students (and therefore the last one ever), "what are you doing this summer?" was probably the most popular conversation starter the last month or so of school. so i thought i'd let you all know a little bit about what i'm going to do with my 102 days of freedom.

officially, the big thing this summer off from classes is...more classes. as some of you may have heard, in addition to working toward a medical degree, i plan to also get a masters in public health, and classes for that degree begin this summer. explaining what exactly public health is should probably be its own post, but briefly, i'm taking these classes to hopefully be a smarter doctor, one who thinks not only about what his patient is sick with, but also what about his patient's life is making him sick--where he lives, his behaviors, etc. in some ways it's like focusing on the leaky pipe instead of cleaning up the puddle on the floor, if that makes sense.

but of course that's not all i'm doing this summer--far from it! there's going to be lots of voluntary reading of non-textbook books (with an emphasis, though, on books about medicine and...uh, saving the world), and going to concerts (starting with m83 with aaron next week, and also including a couple free days at the pitchfork festival), and buying a condo (we've almost decided--very soon there'll be an extra bedroom for you the next time you come to chicago!), and watching soccer (the champions league final was yesterday, and the european championships start june 6), and maybe traveling (we're waiting to see if any smoking deals show up for last-minute flights), grilling food and then eating it, and riding my bike all over the place, and just a whole bunch of fun things. i'm pretty excited, and i guess now you know a little of what will be populating the old blog the next several weeks--so there's something to look forward to!

what about you guys? got any good, exciting plans for the summer? the comments section isn't going to write itself!

update of utmost import

when my blog was on hiatus these last several months, people would always ask me "hey jeremy, why haven't you written on your blog lately?" or "dude, what's the deal? did you break your hands?" or "have you joined some kind of anti-internet cult?". what they didn't ask me, but what i always knew they were curious about, was "so jeremy, how's your male pattern baldness coming along?" well, now that i have time to blog again, i can give you, readership, the kind of information you've been really longing for and missing these last long months. i give you the current status of the top of my head, as of thursday, may 15:



as you can see, this last year has seen a mass emigration of hair and hair follicles. as someone who's been told since he was about 5 years old that he'd one day be as bald as his dad, i've had plenty of time to notice various balding styles (and also to amass a list of bald heroes, including george bluth, winston churchill, michael jordan, (zidane, until that incident in 2006), and of course larry david, who even beat churchill for the position of honorary president of the club). i have to say, it's not time to abandon ship (shave head completely) yet, but i do see cause for alarm. note, for example, that worrying tuft of hair in the middle of the loss zone (that's what i call it). in all my days of observation of baldness, i've never seen anyone make the donut look good. i have to say, though, that i'm very glad to be losing my hair from the middle out, as opposed to from the front. i always worried how having my forehead slowly taking over my hairline like a territorial dispute would effect the overall look of my face. fortunately, i'll never have to know.

taking this picture (which, by the way, i did about 7 times trying to get the perfect angle for hair-loss assessment) made me wish i'd done this more consistently over the last 5 or so years so that i could have more closely monitored the development up there. i wonder if you can pinpoint the exact day you start to look like you're going bald if you're watching closely. probably not--you know what they say about watched pots boiling and all. wow, i think i may have just stumbled across the perfect hair loss prevention technique*--just keep watching it...really closely. it's cheaper than rogaine, folks. GENIUS!

*in all seriousness, though, you know how in the x-men movies they try to find a "cure" for the mutants, to make them normal again? and how all the mutants are like "we don't want a cure--we're AWESOME and we like it"? that's exactly how i feel about these products. not only that it's incredibly insulting to assume that we (the bald community) would WANT to look like the rest of you, but also because of the superpowers we bald men possess (and which of course we never talk about to the haired of the world).

best summer ever

ok, sorry about that absence there. i counted, and this year i filled out 28 of those bad boys up there this year. if it makes you feel any better, all you really missed by me not blogging is "i studied today" posted about 100 times. not that much to read.

but today life got a lot better: i finished my first year of med school. a classmate informed me we have 102 days until next year starts. 102 glorious days!

anyway, while this post is full of numerical data, i realize it's a little low on funny. but fret not--consider yourself warned that the blog is back, and i'm going to make all kinds of stuff happen around here. you'll see.

a sandy christmas

at some point last week i decided to hold off on my music list extravaganza until my friends and i have completed our work making the annual meta list, so if you were holding your breath waiting for my top albums list, well, i hope you gave up or have exceptional lung capacity.

in the meantime, here's a post from sunny san diego. (actually, it's not exactly steaming hot down here, but when i talk to my med school friends who didn't leave the chicago area for christmas i make it sound like it's a non-stop sweatfest down here, just for the jealousy effect.) and since i'm mentioning med school, all the grades came in, and thus far i am still on my way to being a doctor. i can definitely say i've never been happier to get passing grades, so i guess this semester has whatever dubious distinction that honor bestows upon it. (and since i'm writing convoluted sentences i'll note that now when i write any sentence too far outside the standard style i try to guess how strong a candidate it is for another of kim's polls, and how many people i think would be able to ascertain my meaning if a poll were made. and speaking of--i'm sure some of you are wondering who "won" the bet or what have you...unfortunately, the parameters of what, exactly, is being bet on or what would comprise a victory are never as clear once the results are in as at the beginning, so it's hard to say. for example, kim had originally predicted that 9 out of 10 people wouldn't understand the sentence, which i am now to understand meant "wouldn't understand upon first reading," so in her eyes the fact that most people had to read it two or three times clearly means she foretold correctly. whatever the case, though, it seems pretty likely that i'll continue to write these sort of labyrinthine sentences every now and again, and when i do the end readability will not be a high priority for me. take it as a challenge, or safely (correctly?) assume it's not particularly important and move on.)

this was going to be about my break, though, and that's where the above photo (shot by mr. michael chan) comes in--here is our day after christmas beach football game documented in all its sandy, oceany glory. the blurry figures in the background are the "old people" team (which i was surprised to grouped with--when did that happen?), who overcame their alleged aged, creaky bodies (and my inability to catch the ball for most of the game) and won the day. i proudly pledge my allegiance to the old people. hail, old people!

most of break has been similarly enjoyably spent (but with much less physical activity since then, as my efforts at the game made me so sore i've needed assistance to get into or out of cars or beds (old people, i embrace your traditions! i am one of you now!)), and today my family joins us out west for what will certainly be even more adventures.

music week, part 1

ah, freedom! i have emerged from my spot in the library and into the bright and blinding light of snow and sunshine. it's a lovely world out here, and i'm pretty excited to be taking it all in. and of course on this first day of vacation i'm spending it supine on the couch under a blanket with coffee, music, and my blog. well...the great outdoors can wait a bit, can't they? i should think so!

sometimes i think it would have been pretty cool, from a strictly music geek standpoint, to have been alive (and of the proper age) in the 60's. obviously, i'm a big nerd for music, and it would have been just amazing to have lived during rock music's creation and defining first years. can you imagine living through the beatles and the beach boys fighting for the right to author rock's defining moment? or living through a year in which the beatles and jimi hendrix released monster double albums, cash did folsom prison, the velvet underground released an album that even further pushed the limits of what rock music could or could not be, and also the kinks, simon and garfunkel, and van morrison (to name a few) all released albums that would all ultimately be considered classics? amazing, right?

well, in a way i've got it even better. a few years back i experienced pretty much the equivalent of the entire bob dylan discography being released in the same calendar year. before that i lived a year when radiohead released kid a alongside the white album and the flaming lips' the soft bulletin, which was obviously a pretty good year. so in celebration of the 50 years of rock behind us, i am going to kick off a week of musical musings by presenting you all with a list i've wanted to make in past years but never got around to, which i have decided to title "best albums of the year (not of this year)". the criteria is simple enough: my favorite albums i heard for the first time this year that came out previous to 2007. so here are a few i loved:

Lilly Allen, Alright, Still (2006)

this is an album i missed last year and picked up when i heard a 5 second clip of "LDN" as a radio show's bumper music. (the part where she's singing "sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would i wanna be anywhere else?" at the end of the song, with the horns and the layers of vocals). that was all i needed to hear--i was hooked. i had to find that music, and i did, and then for about 3 weeks that was all i listened to. i'm happy about myspace's democratization of music, but to be honest, the back story of this album was one of the reasons i didn't hear it sooner--it seemed like every time i read an article about her during the year it was talking about the "myspace sensation" or something, and always the actual music a sideshow. fortunately, i finally heard the music, and the music definitely merited all the excitement.

Stevie Wonder, Talking Book (1972)

you know in "high fidelity" when barry makes fun of that guy for trying to buy his daughter "i just called to say i love you", and barry asks rob "top 5 musical crimes perpetuated by stevie wonder in the '80s and '90s, go. sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?" when i saw "you are the sunshine of my life" as track 1 on this album, i figured this album fell under the latter day sins category--i can't stand that song's creepy keyboard part and that woman's cloying voice singing those creepy, cloying lyrics. i should have stayed all the way through the credits one of the 15 times i watched that movie, though, because if i had i would have heard album closer "i believe (when i fall in love it will be forever)", and then i would have realized how (to quote rob) unassailably cool the REST of the album is. stevie wonder has an amazing voice and a crazy knack to put sweet pop melodies over the top of really funky rhythms and make it work. this is old news and you probably already knew this, i guess. (i'm imagining my more senior readers chuckling at my "discovering" stevie wonder. i should have known--i mean, "superstitious" is on this album. what more proof did i need?)

Stars of the Lid, The Tired Sounds of the Stars of the Lid (2001)

every so often, my friend andrew lawton will emerge from a month or so without communication to announce on my voicemail or in an email that he has found some music that i must hear. this year's biggest musical discovery by way of andrew was stars of the lid. if you look up information about this band, the adjectives you're most likely to see are words like "drone", "ambient", "sleep", etc. it sounds probably a little boring--there is very little emphasis on melody, and unlike a lot of bands that use lots of expansive sounds, there is no climax here. whereas some music gives you the distinct impression of flying great distances, the world far down below, stars of the lid lifts you several feet off the air and just holds you there, wieghtless. the sounds simply float from the speakers and after several minutes seem to retreat back from where they came. as study music, as de-stressing music, as white noise to blot out the sounds of the outside world for a mid-day nap, this band was a fortuitous find for this, my first year of study-filled, stress-inducing, sleep-deprived medical education, but this music also exists on its own merit, and not simply as a utilitarian means to an end. after all, levitation is not something you just experience every day.


Harry Nilsson, Nilsson Schmilsson (1971)

i'd been hearing about this album for awhile now--it shows up on a few best albums of all time or best albums of the 70's lists, which it will probably not surprise you to learn that i actively seek out on the internet and in magazines, so when i stumbled across a used copy at the record store, i decided to check it out. and you know what? worth the hype. kim says it sounds like a musical, which i have to agree about (sometimes), but with the caveat that it sounds like that rare song from a musical that's actually good and is sung by someone NOT trying to put so! much! energy! in every word and e-nun-ci-ate every syllable like they're teaching english to immigrants. there's definitely a lot of drama in his delivery (like on "without you" (saved by the bell flashback!!!)) and in the arrangements, but never so much that it outweighs the songs themselves, which on this album are uniformly excellent pieces of pop delight.

The Zombies, Odessey and Oracle (1968)

awhile back, a new friend of mine mentioned that this is one of her favorite bands of all time, and i could only think of two singles that i knew they'd done. i clearly needed to do some research, so i read up, did some downloading, and found probably one of the best albums of its time. this album is perfect. i mean, every song. this album is the reason i made this list--i just wanted to celebrate it in some way, and now i'm finding myself incapable of thinking of words to extol it. the songwriting, despite 30 years of influence on a whole bunch of music i've loved for a long time, feels fresh and surprising. i almost can't highlight a particular song because every song merits mention, but...gosh, the jilted desperation of "maybe after he's gone", the melancholy reminiscence of "brief candles", the giddy exuberance of love in "i want her she wants me", and the sultry sexiness of "time of the season" are all prime examples of how well pop songs can capture each of those parts of the human experience. "friends of mine" makes me wish i had some context in which to perform it publicly, and i'll either play "this will be our year" every year on new year's or on kim's and my anniversary, because i just like it that much, and i think it ought to be a part of the fabric of life. the melodies are frequently heartbreaking, as is the vocal delivery. the lyrics are touching but not sappy, classic without being cliched. almost every song has a moment, usually in an explosion of aaaaah's and soaring harmonies in the chorus, that makes you feel...something (sometimes joy, sometimes melancholy) so strongly that you're just so happy to be alive you almost feel silly. as much as anything that came out this year, this album will in many ways define 2007 for me, and i'll probably always remember the way i felt the first time i heard this music, that transcendent rush of joy, that excitement of discovering something wonderful that makes me glad i've got 50 years of hidden treasures from the past to discover over the next 50 years.

so there it is, part 1 of the list extravaganza. did you all make any excellent discoveries this year? hollah in the comments section! and check back on wednesday for the next installment in 2007 music documentation.

A Small Poll

I am conducting a poll.

But first you have to read Jeremy's blog post, that comes before this one. Then come back.

::: (I am waiting. I will be here when you return.) :::

Welcome back. What a nice blog that was. I especially liked the part about me.

Here is the poll:

Do you understand the sentence quoted below? If so, please translate. Please answer YES or NO, with modifying comments if necessary. (We are betting money on this, so don't leave without commenting!) And drumroll....

"i won't say i want to do this, but i will say i'd rather do this than be utterly lost when the second half of the year i can't wait to pair in sentences with past tense verbs starts."

Thank you for your participation.

next week daydream

this morning i took a test for my physiology class. it was ok. wednesday i have a nutrition test and then friday is the physiology final. after that, barring disaster, i will have survived the first semester of medical school, and passed everything, too! i will count this as a victory and be pretty happy about it.

i'll also be pretty happy about break, which starts on friday after that last test. you may have heard med school can be a rather intense experience, and if you have, you have heard correctly. that makes the non-intensity of breaks even more refreshing. so that's what i'm usually thinking about while staring blankly at whatever textbook page is in front of me. it makes my brain salivate. i've never really thought about it before, but i guess if the brain salivates it salivates from its pituitary gland. (oh, great--more than a month away from the blog and i'm already making med school jokes in my first post back.)

anyway, as i've been thinking a lot about what i'll do when break is done, and also about how i wish i'd been blogging more this last semester, i thought i'd combine these two thoughts into one action: a blog about what i want to do over break, which i'm going to go ahead write as a numbered list, it being december and all (see #1).

1. first of all, i plan to take part in my favorite december tradition: the making of lists. this year i plan to make at least three lists (which you all can look forward to showing up here in the near future): a top 10 2007 albums list, a top 2007 songs (not on top 10 albums list) list, and a favorite albums of the year (not of this year) list. as a preview to all of that (i realize this is more for my benefit than yours), i have added that flash widgety thing on the right sidebar of what i've been listening to lately (now you can always know!) and also the picture there, which is i think all the 2007 albums that'll be in contention for those lists.

2. lately, i've been noticing strange changes around my apartment--things aren't where i left them, the dishes keep getting cleaned, and sometimes the toilet seat is inexplicably left down. apparently, my wife also lives where i live. high on my list this break is investigating this fact and perhaps even getting to hang out with this wife person. i expect that together fun will be had. and...

3. also i expect there to be some together enjoying of the city i've been seeing the tall buildings of while riding my bike home each night. looks like a fun place--i think i'd enjoy visiting.

4. i want to play my guitar. i haven't done nearly enough of that lately. i would like to play the guitar, and perhaps even make up things to play on my guitar. and then play them.

5. unfortunately, i am going to be reading about neuroanatomy during the break. i won't say i want to do this, but i will say i'd rather do this than be utterly lost when the second half of the year i can't wait to pair in sentences with past tense verbs starts.

6. i bought myself a christmas surprise last week, and provided it arrives next week, i plan to open it and see what's in it. at this point all i know is it's someone's entire record collection which a friend rescued from certain trash. there will almost certainly be pictures of this excitement when the time comes. obviously this will be a several day project of cataloging, careful listening and evaluating the quality of the records and the music, deciding which to keep, and possibly reorganizing of the collection, should the number of keepers necessitate more space.

i have 1 week in which to do this, and then kim and i are going to california to celebrate christmas with BOTH our families. we're pretty lucky it worked out this way, so it'll be great to be able to see both everyones and also to sit on the sand and relax. that'll be pretty fun.

so, in summary: i'm almost done with the first semester, expect more posts over the next couple weeks, and also sorry about all the not posting.

Kim vs. The Chicago Transit Authority

Dear long lost friends -

Please forgive our great delay in the land of blog. Mr. Howe Jr. has science-y factoids coming out of his ears and is in no state to compose witty blog posts. Recently he has become addicted to the soundtrack for the musical Wicked, and yesterday I overheard him in the bathroom singing something along the lines of "anterior pericardiacophrenic-fraschia minor" to the tune of "Popular." (Now that I think of it, that DOES sound like something the Wicked Witch would say.)

And I, dear readers, have been studying for my own upcoming test, because - being a chronic biter-off-of-more-than-I-can-chew - I am applying for grad school as well. Marriage, med school, new job, new neighborhood, grown up life... it's just not ENOUGH!

And as a super awesome bonus to these already super things - we also experienced several tragic deaths this month: jeremy's laptop and our transmission are both in technology heaven, to the tune of of $2000. [Update: Engine mounts now... make that $2300.]

Anyway, those are a smattering of excuses for the great delay in our blogging. But we don't want to leave the people's votes unanswered, so without further ado...

Kim vs. The Chicago Transit Authority
* * WARNING * *

Includes language inappropriate for children under 18 or parents over 50.

Several weeks ago my job took a field trip, as we often do. The purpose of this particular excursion was to familiarize ourselves with the buses and trains that service our worksites, even though none of us would actually be using these particular buses or trains to get to our worksites. That's just what we do. Don't ask questions.

We were a group of 12; 10 of us had the normal cardboard passes, and 2 of us had those newfangled plastic psychic cards that are connected to your bank account and which the CTA has been pushing for "convenience and ease of boarding."

I got on the bus last, waved my psychic card over the "magic spot," and went to sit down. About halfway to my seat, the driver called me to come back.

Me: "What's wrong?"
Mr. Driver: "You have to pay."
Me: "Oh, sorry. I thought I did." (waves card again)
Mr. Driver: "Your card doesn't work."
"But I just used it on the last bus like two minu..."
"You can't do that."
"Do what?"
"You can't use it like that."
"Like what?"
"You have to wait 20 minutes." (not true)
"Uh... how are you supposed to change buses if you have to wai..."
"You can't do that."
"Okay. I'm a little confused. What's the problem here exactly?" (she says, politely)
"Your card doesn't work."
"Well, how do you know? What does the machine say? It is invalid? Or just not deducting? Overdrawn? Does it SAY it was used too recent..."
"Pay the fare, ma'am."
"This is supposed to be a transfer from the last bus! I shouldn't have to pay again if you can't even tell me why!"
"Pay the fare or get off the bus!"
"What?!"
"PAY THE FARE OR GET OFF THE BUS!"
"You are freaking kidding! Unbelievable!! FINE!"
(And she stomps to the back of the bus to beg change from her coworkers.)

At this point, the slow forward momentum of the bus comes to a screeching halt, and I nearly fall down in the aisle.

Mr. Driver is standing at the front of the bus, feet planted like a gunslinger, pointing at me and yelling: "PAY THE FARE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!"

Me (shouting back across the length of the bus and over several Mexican women): "I'M COMING, FOR F***'S SAKE!!"

Marching back to the front of the bus, I end up nose to nose with Mr. Driver, and holding my two dollars above the machine, I whisper in a voice of barely suppressed rage:
"Here's your two dollars. But I shouldn't have to pay this. I already paid, my card works, and you are rude and an idiot."
(money enters machine)
Mr. Driver: "Get off my bus!"
"No. I already paid."
"GET OFF MY BUS OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!"
"NO! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE! AND I WANT YOUR BADGE NUMBER!"
"Well then find it."

And we stood there glaring at each other, while the rest of the bus waited for the climax of our epic faceoff.

Eventually I spotted his badge number and ferociously scribbled it down while I scowled at him, and then stomped back to my seat, while he continued glaring at me in the rearview mirror.

The best part: A few minutes later the old lady sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, very knowingly, as only old ladies can, "He's kind of bastard..."

About a week later, after calling twice and sending two emails and a letter to the CTA, I received the following note: "As soon as your initial complaint was received, it was immediately forwarded to the General Manager of the garage where the #60 route originates to begin an investigation. That review showed your card actually did register the 25-cent transfer fee when you boarded the #60 bus at about 2:47 p.m., so we will have to check the farebox to see if there was a malfunction."

And that's basically the end. I guess this story is a bit anticlimactic after all that shouting' and stompin'. It would have been better if we'd had a throwdown in the aisle, and then Mr. Driver went unconscious after my wicked pile driver, and then I'd commandeered the bus and given free rides for everyone. And tootsie rolls. Yeah. That would have been awesome. Maybe next time.

Next up: Sleep Talking or Cadaver Life (or Living Cadavers Talking in Their Sleep... one of those).