wish you were here

as you may recall, my good friend aaron is in town this week to enjoy some chicago summertime fun. i thought since he's here and doesn't have anything better to do i'd have him guest-write about our activities thus far. aaron, take it away!

my name is aaron and i got jeremy's secret password, guarded by several laser beam-emitting guard dogs whose breath releases tiny little tracking devises which eventually shoot spikes that drive straight through your heart if you're not him. needless to say, it was a pretty tough, but i was inspired by the most recent film i saw, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." thanks george lucas. i thought there would be aliens involved at some point in my quest, but jeremy remained unpredictable even in his password defense system. he obviously did not consult mr. lucas. this, however, is not the purpose of my entry. it is, rather, to talk about the current state of affairs in chicago since i am here.

yesterday i arrived just in time to watch the usa v. england soccer match. even though the usa looked poorly outmatched, that did not mean that a person could not have fun in this country. we soon made that fun part of our life with an evening of grilling burgers topped with 7 or 8 different condiments. it felt more like the america i was used to. if there had been a burger- stacking competition with us (jeremy, kim, and i) versus some brits (let's say, tony blair, winston churchill, and king john) i'd say we would make them miss revolutionary war-era america.

anyway, lots of fun is set up for the next 2 days. a concert tonight, a spy game this afternoon (look for me reading suspiciously in a café, jeremy playing his guitar ever so slyly on the corner, and kim strategically yakking on her cell phone). tomorrow we have an ushering gig at some highfalutin theatre. maybe jerm will blog about it later.

-aaron

summer music

at some point during this long, cold, bitter winter, i tried to cheer myself up by putting together a playlist to play when it warmed up. well, summer finally came to chicago (it seems it was just waiting for the memorial day weekend), and we've even had a couple days in a row with highs over the 70's. so this morning while doing some cleaning, i broke out the list, which i thought i'd share with you all.

as you may or may not be aware, when a music geek shares a playlist with you, he's got one or more of a few different motivations in mind. he might want some feedback (you'd think only the positive kind, but actually music geeks thrive on lots of criticism and debate--playlists have been known to consume an entire evening's conversation). often he is trying to share some music that he suspects you have not heard, and without which he is convinced your life cannot be complete (to put it bluntly and at the risk of seeming undiplomatic, he wants to "educate" you). or perhaps he wants some suggestions, an outside ear to supply the song or two that he feels is missing from making his mix complete. this particular list needs a bit of the first and a bit of the last--after putting it on today i felt like it needed some work.

i have titled this list "sunny, high in the 60's and 70's", and the criteria for the list is all nicely contained in the title: this is a list of happy, possibly drug-influenced (or, as they said at the time, "psychedelic") songs from the 60's and 70's. this particular list is kind of a party mix, which is to say i just want to put it on random--no sequencing necessary. here goes, in no particular:

"windy", the association
"stoned me", van morrison
"so happy together", the turtles
"summer in the city", lovin spoonful
"i was made to love her", stevie wonder
"uptight (everything is alright)", stevie wonder
"a summer song", chad and jeremy
"i want you back", jackson 5
"she'd rather be with me", turtles
"cherish", the association
"abc", jackson 5
"cool it down" the velvet underground
"in the summertime", mungo jerry
"who loves the sun", the velvet underground
"the village green preservation society", the kinks
"signed, sealed, delivered i'm yours", stevie wonder
"this will be our year", the zombies
"elenore", the turtles

a few notes. first of all, that's two artists with three songs, which i usually try to avoid. also, there's a few pretty melancholy songs, but i have to say i think they're good counterpoints, and most of them have at least a sunny chorus. also, the most glaring omissions are probably the beatles and of course the boys of summer, the beach boys. there were just too many to choose from when i made the list and i ended up leaving them off to decide later, but i forgot all about it and now it's sunny out so obviously i'll need your help with those. right now this playlist clocks in under an hour, and it pretty much can't be too long, so don't be bashful--help me out!!!

summer to-do

since this summer is both the first and last break we'll have as medical students (and therefore the last one ever), "what are you doing this summer?" was probably the most popular conversation starter the last month or so of school. so i thought i'd let you all know a little bit about what i'm going to do with my 102 days of freedom.

officially, the big thing this summer off from classes is...more classes. as some of you may have heard, in addition to working toward a medical degree, i plan to also get a masters in public health, and classes for that degree begin this summer. explaining what exactly public health is should probably be its own post, but briefly, i'm taking these classes to hopefully be a smarter doctor, one who thinks not only about what his patient is sick with, but also what about his patient's life is making him sick--where he lives, his behaviors, etc. in some ways it's like focusing on the leaky pipe instead of cleaning up the puddle on the floor, if that makes sense.

but of course that's not all i'm doing this summer--far from it! there's going to be lots of voluntary reading of non-textbook books (with an emphasis, though, on books about medicine and...uh, saving the world), and going to concerts (starting with m83 with aaron next week, and also including a couple free days at the pitchfork festival), and buying a condo (we've almost decided--very soon there'll be an extra bedroom for you the next time you come to chicago!), and watching soccer (the champions league final was yesterday, and the european championships start june 6), and maybe traveling (we're waiting to see if any smoking deals show up for last-minute flights), grilling food and then eating it, and riding my bike all over the place, and just a whole bunch of fun things. i'm pretty excited, and i guess now you know a little of what will be populating the old blog the next several weeks--so there's something to look forward to!

what about you guys? got any good, exciting plans for the summer? the comments section isn't going to write itself!

update of utmost import

when my blog was on hiatus these last several months, people would always ask me "hey jeremy, why haven't you written on your blog lately?" or "dude, what's the deal? did you break your hands?" or "have you joined some kind of anti-internet cult?". what they didn't ask me, but what i always knew they were curious about, was "so jeremy, how's your male pattern baldness coming along?" well, now that i have time to blog again, i can give you, readership, the kind of information you've been really longing for and missing these last long months. i give you the current status of the top of my head, as of thursday, may 15:



as you can see, this last year has seen a mass emigration of hair and hair follicles. as someone who's been told since he was about 5 years old that he'd one day be as bald as his dad, i've had plenty of time to notice various balding styles (and also to amass a list of bald heroes, including george bluth, winston churchill, michael jordan, (zidane, until that incident in 2006), and of course larry david, who even beat churchill for the position of honorary president of the club). i have to say, it's not time to abandon ship (shave head completely) yet, but i do see cause for alarm. note, for example, that worrying tuft of hair in the middle of the loss zone (that's what i call it). in all my days of observation of baldness, i've never seen anyone make the donut look good. i have to say, though, that i'm very glad to be losing my hair from the middle out, as opposed to from the front. i always worried how having my forehead slowly taking over my hairline like a territorial dispute would effect the overall look of my face. fortunately, i'll never have to know.

taking this picture (which, by the way, i did about 7 times trying to get the perfect angle for hair-loss assessment) made me wish i'd done this more consistently over the last 5 or so years so that i could have more closely monitored the development up there. i wonder if you can pinpoint the exact day you start to look like you're going bald if you're watching closely. probably not--you know what they say about watched pots boiling and all. wow, i think i may have just stumbled across the perfect hair loss prevention technique*--just keep watching it...really closely. it's cheaper than rogaine, folks. GENIUS!

*in all seriousness, though, you know how in the x-men movies they try to find a "cure" for the mutants, to make them normal again? and how all the mutants are like "we don't want a cure--we're AWESOME and we like it"? that's exactly how i feel about these products. not only that it's incredibly insulting to assume that we (the bald community) would WANT to look like the rest of you, but also because of the superpowers we bald men possess (and which of course we never talk about to the haired of the world).

best summer ever

ok, sorry about that absence there. i counted, and this year i filled out 28 of those bad boys up there this year. if it makes you feel any better, all you really missed by me not blogging is "i studied today" posted about 100 times. not that much to read.

but today life got a lot better: i finished my first year of med school. a classmate informed me we have 102 days until next year starts. 102 glorious days!

anyway, while this post is full of numerical data, i realize it's a little low on funny. but fret not--consider yourself warned that the blog is back, and i'm going to make all kinds of stuff happen around here. you'll see.

a sandy christmas

at some point last week i decided to hold off on my music list extravaganza until my friends and i have completed our work making the annual meta list, so if you were holding your breath waiting for my top albums list, well, i hope you gave up or have exceptional lung capacity.

in the meantime, here's a post from sunny san diego. (actually, it's not exactly steaming hot down here, but when i talk to my med school friends who didn't leave the chicago area for christmas i make it sound like it's a non-stop sweatfest down here, just for the jealousy effect.) and since i'm mentioning med school, all the grades came in, and thus far i am still on my way to being a doctor. i can definitely say i've never been happier to get passing grades, so i guess this semester has whatever dubious distinction that honor bestows upon it. (and since i'm writing convoluted sentences i'll note that now when i write any sentence too far outside the standard style i try to guess how strong a candidate it is for another of kim's polls, and how many people i think would be able to ascertain my meaning if a poll were made. and speaking of--i'm sure some of you are wondering who "won" the bet or what have you...unfortunately, the parameters of what, exactly, is being bet on or what would comprise a victory are never as clear once the results are in as at the beginning, so it's hard to say. for example, kim had originally predicted that 9 out of 10 people wouldn't understand the sentence, which i am now to understand meant "wouldn't understand upon first reading," so in her eyes the fact that most people had to read it two or three times clearly means she foretold correctly. whatever the case, though, it seems pretty likely that i'll continue to write these sort of labyrinthine sentences every now and again, and when i do the end readability will not be a high priority for me. take it as a challenge, or safely (correctly?) assume it's not particularly important and move on.)

this was going to be about my break, though, and that's where the above photo (shot by mr. michael chan) comes in--here is our day after christmas beach football game documented in all its sandy, oceany glory. the blurry figures in the background are the "old people" team (which i was surprised to grouped with--when did that happen?), who overcame their alleged aged, creaky bodies (and my inability to catch the ball for most of the game) and won the day. i proudly pledge my allegiance to the old people. hail, old people!

most of break has been similarly enjoyably spent (but with much less physical activity since then, as my efforts at the game made me so sore i've needed assistance to get into or out of cars or beds (old people, i embrace your traditions! i am one of you now!)), and today my family joins us out west for what will certainly be even more adventures.

music week, part 1

ah, freedom! i have emerged from my spot in the library and into the bright and blinding light of snow and sunshine. it's a lovely world out here, and i'm pretty excited to be taking it all in. and of course on this first day of vacation i'm spending it supine on the couch under a blanket with coffee, music, and my blog. well...the great outdoors can wait a bit, can't they? i should think so!

sometimes i think it would have been pretty cool, from a strictly music geek standpoint, to have been alive (and of the proper age) in the 60's. obviously, i'm a big nerd for music, and it would have been just amazing to have lived during rock music's creation and defining first years. can you imagine living through the beatles and the beach boys fighting for the right to author rock's defining moment? or living through a year in which the beatles and jimi hendrix released monster double albums, cash did folsom prison, the velvet underground released an album that even further pushed the limits of what rock music could or could not be, and also the kinks, simon and garfunkel, and van morrison (to name a few) all released albums that would all ultimately be considered classics? amazing, right?

well, in a way i've got it even better. a few years back i experienced pretty much the equivalent of the entire bob dylan discography being released in the same calendar year. before that i lived a year when radiohead released kid a alongside the white album and the flaming lips' the soft bulletin, which was obviously a pretty good year. so in celebration of the 50 years of rock behind us, i am going to kick off a week of musical musings by presenting you all with a list i've wanted to make in past years but never got around to, which i have decided to title "best albums of the year (not of this year)". the criteria is simple enough: my favorite albums i heard for the first time this year that came out previous to 2007. so here are a few i loved:

Lilly Allen, Alright, Still (2006)

this is an album i missed last year and picked up when i heard a 5 second clip of "LDN" as a radio show's bumper music. (the part where she's singing "sun is in the sky, oh why oh why would i wanna be anywhere else?" at the end of the song, with the horns and the layers of vocals). that was all i needed to hear--i was hooked. i had to find that music, and i did, and then for about 3 weeks that was all i listened to. i'm happy about myspace's democratization of music, but to be honest, the back story of this album was one of the reasons i didn't hear it sooner--it seemed like every time i read an article about her during the year it was talking about the "myspace sensation" or something, and always the actual music a sideshow. fortunately, i finally heard the music, and the music definitely merited all the excitement.

Stevie Wonder, Talking Book (1972)

you know in "high fidelity" when barry makes fun of that guy for trying to buy his daughter "i just called to say i love you", and barry asks rob "top 5 musical crimes perpetuated by stevie wonder in the '80s and '90s, go. sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?" when i saw "you are the sunshine of my life" as track 1 on this album, i figured this album fell under the latter day sins category--i can't stand that song's creepy keyboard part and that woman's cloying voice singing those creepy, cloying lyrics. i should have stayed all the way through the credits one of the 15 times i watched that movie, though, because if i had i would have heard album closer "i believe (when i fall in love it will be forever)", and then i would have realized how (to quote rob) unassailably cool the REST of the album is. stevie wonder has an amazing voice and a crazy knack to put sweet pop melodies over the top of really funky rhythms and make it work. this is old news and you probably already knew this, i guess. (i'm imagining my more senior readers chuckling at my "discovering" stevie wonder. i should have known--i mean, "superstitious" is on this album. what more proof did i need?)

Stars of the Lid, The Tired Sounds of the Stars of the Lid (2001)

every so often, my friend andrew lawton will emerge from a month or so without communication to announce on my voicemail or in an email that he has found some music that i must hear. this year's biggest musical discovery by way of andrew was stars of the lid. if you look up information about this band, the adjectives you're most likely to see are words like "drone", "ambient", "sleep", etc. it sounds probably a little boring--there is very little emphasis on melody, and unlike a lot of bands that use lots of expansive sounds, there is no climax here. whereas some music gives you the distinct impression of flying great distances, the world far down below, stars of the lid lifts you several feet off the air and just holds you there, wieghtless. the sounds simply float from the speakers and after several minutes seem to retreat back from where they came. as study music, as de-stressing music, as white noise to blot out the sounds of the outside world for a mid-day nap, this band was a fortuitous find for this, my first year of study-filled, stress-inducing, sleep-deprived medical education, but this music also exists on its own merit, and not simply as a utilitarian means to an end. after all, levitation is not something you just experience every day.


Harry Nilsson, Nilsson Schmilsson (1971)

i'd been hearing about this album for awhile now--it shows up on a few best albums of all time or best albums of the 70's lists, which it will probably not surprise you to learn that i actively seek out on the internet and in magazines, so when i stumbled across a used copy at the record store, i decided to check it out. and you know what? worth the hype. kim says it sounds like a musical, which i have to agree about (sometimes), but with the caveat that it sounds like that rare song from a musical that's actually good and is sung by someone NOT trying to put so! much! energy! in every word and e-nun-ci-ate every syllable like they're teaching english to immigrants. there's definitely a lot of drama in his delivery (like on "without you" (saved by the bell flashback!!!)) and in the arrangements, but never so much that it outweighs the songs themselves, which on this album are uniformly excellent pieces of pop delight.

The Zombies, Odessey and Oracle (1968)

awhile back, a new friend of mine mentioned that this is one of her favorite bands of all time, and i could only think of two singles that i knew they'd done. i clearly needed to do some research, so i read up, did some downloading, and found probably one of the best albums of its time. this album is perfect. i mean, every song. this album is the reason i made this list--i just wanted to celebrate it in some way, and now i'm finding myself incapable of thinking of words to extol it. the songwriting, despite 30 years of influence on a whole bunch of music i've loved for a long time, feels fresh and surprising. i almost can't highlight a particular song because every song merits mention, but...gosh, the jilted desperation of "maybe after he's gone", the melancholy reminiscence of "brief candles", the giddy exuberance of love in "i want her she wants me", and the sultry sexiness of "time of the season" are all prime examples of how well pop songs can capture each of those parts of the human experience. "friends of mine" makes me wish i had some context in which to perform it publicly, and i'll either play "this will be our year" every year on new year's or on kim's and my anniversary, because i just like it that much, and i think it ought to be a part of the fabric of life. the melodies are frequently heartbreaking, as is the vocal delivery. the lyrics are touching but not sappy, classic without being cliched. almost every song has a moment, usually in an explosion of aaaaah's and soaring harmonies in the chorus, that makes you feel...something (sometimes joy, sometimes melancholy) so strongly that you're just so happy to be alive you almost feel silly. as much as anything that came out this year, this album will in many ways define 2007 for me, and i'll probably always remember the way i felt the first time i heard this music, that transcendent rush of joy, that excitement of discovering something wonderful that makes me glad i've got 50 years of hidden treasures from the past to discover over the next 50 years.

so there it is, part 1 of the list extravaganza. did you all make any excellent discoveries this year? hollah in the comments section! and check back on wednesday for the next installment in 2007 music documentation.

A Small Poll

I am conducting a poll.

But first you have to read Jeremy's blog post, that comes before this one. Then come back.

::: (I am waiting. I will be here when you return.) :::

Welcome back. What a nice blog that was. I especially liked the part about me.

Here is the poll:

Do you understand the sentence quoted below? If so, please translate. Please answer YES or NO, with modifying comments if necessary. (We are betting money on this, so don't leave without commenting!) And drumroll....

"i won't say i want to do this, but i will say i'd rather do this than be utterly lost when the second half of the year i can't wait to pair in sentences with past tense verbs starts."

Thank you for your participation.

next week daydream

this morning i took a test for my physiology class. it was ok. wednesday i have a nutrition test and then friday is the physiology final. after that, barring disaster, i will have survived the first semester of medical school, and passed everything, too! i will count this as a victory and be pretty happy about it.

i'll also be pretty happy about break, which starts on friday after that last test. you may have heard med school can be a rather intense experience, and if you have, you have heard correctly. that makes the non-intensity of breaks even more refreshing. so that's what i'm usually thinking about while staring blankly at whatever textbook page is in front of me. it makes my brain salivate. i've never really thought about it before, but i guess if the brain salivates it salivates from its pituitary gland. (oh, great--more than a month away from the blog and i'm already making med school jokes in my first post back.)

anyway, as i've been thinking a lot about what i'll do when break is done, and also about how i wish i'd been blogging more this last semester, i thought i'd combine these two thoughts into one action: a blog about what i want to do over break, which i'm going to go ahead write as a numbered list, it being december and all (see #1).

1. first of all, i plan to take part in my favorite december tradition: the making of lists. this year i plan to make at least three lists (which you all can look forward to showing up here in the near future): a top 10 2007 albums list, a top 2007 songs (not on top 10 albums list) list, and a favorite albums of the year (not of this year) list. as a preview to all of that (i realize this is more for my benefit than yours), i have added that flash widgety thing on the right sidebar of what i've been listening to lately (now you can always know!) and also the picture there, which is i think all the 2007 albums that'll be in contention for those lists.

2. lately, i've been noticing strange changes around my apartment--things aren't where i left them, the dishes keep getting cleaned, and sometimes the toilet seat is inexplicably left down. apparently, my wife also lives where i live. high on my list this break is investigating this fact and perhaps even getting to hang out with this wife person. i expect that together fun will be had. and...

3. also i expect there to be some together enjoying of the city i've been seeing the tall buildings of while riding my bike home each night. looks like a fun place--i think i'd enjoy visiting.

4. i want to play my guitar. i haven't done nearly enough of that lately. i would like to play the guitar, and perhaps even make up things to play on my guitar. and then play them.

5. unfortunately, i am going to be reading about neuroanatomy during the break. i won't say i want to do this, but i will say i'd rather do this than be utterly lost when the second half of the year i can't wait to pair in sentences with past tense verbs starts.

6. i bought myself a christmas surprise last week, and provided it arrives next week, i plan to open it and see what's in it. at this point all i know is it's someone's entire record collection which a friend rescued from certain trash. there will almost certainly be pictures of this excitement when the time comes. obviously this will be a several day project of cataloging, careful listening and evaluating the quality of the records and the music, deciding which to keep, and possibly reorganizing of the collection, should the number of keepers necessitate more space.

i have 1 week in which to do this, and then kim and i are going to california to celebrate christmas with BOTH our families. we're pretty lucky it worked out this way, so it'll be great to be able to see both everyones and also to sit on the sand and relax. that'll be pretty fun.

so, in summary: i'm almost done with the first semester, expect more posts over the next couple weeks, and also sorry about all the not posting.

Kim vs. The Chicago Transit Authority

Dear long lost friends -

Please forgive our great delay in the land of blog. Mr. Howe Jr. has science-y factoids coming out of his ears and is in no state to compose witty blog posts. Recently he has become addicted to the soundtrack for the musical Wicked, and yesterday I overheard him in the bathroom singing something along the lines of "anterior pericardiacophrenic-fraschia minor" to the tune of "Popular." (Now that I think of it, that DOES sound like something the Wicked Witch would say.)

And I, dear readers, have been studying for my own upcoming test, because - being a chronic biter-off-of-more-than-I-can-chew - I am applying for grad school as well. Marriage, med school, new job, new neighborhood, grown up life... it's just not ENOUGH!

And as a super awesome bonus to these already super things - we also experienced several tragic deaths this month: jeremy's laptop and our transmission are both in technology heaven, to the tune of of $2000. [Update: Engine mounts now... make that $2300.]

Anyway, those are a smattering of excuses for the great delay in our blogging. But we don't want to leave the people's votes unanswered, so without further ado...

Kim vs. The Chicago Transit Authority
* * WARNING * *

Includes language inappropriate for children under 18 or parents over 50.

Several weeks ago my job took a field trip, as we often do. The purpose of this particular excursion was to familiarize ourselves with the buses and trains that service our worksites, even though none of us would actually be using these particular buses or trains to get to our worksites. That's just what we do. Don't ask questions.

We were a group of 12; 10 of us had the normal cardboard passes, and 2 of us had those newfangled plastic psychic cards that are connected to your bank account and which the CTA has been pushing for "convenience and ease of boarding."

I got on the bus last, waved my psychic card over the "magic spot," and went to sit down. About halfway to my seat, the driver called me to come back.

Me: "What's wrong?"
Mr. Driver: "You have to pay."
Me: "Oh, sorry. I thought I did." (waves card again)
Mr. Driver: "Your card doesn't work."
"But I just used it on the last bus like two minu..."
"You can't do that."
"Do what?"
"You can't use it like that."
"Like what?"
"You have to wait 20 minutes." (not true)
"Uh... how are you supposed to change buses if you have to wai..."
"You can't do that."
"Okay. I'm a little confused. What's the problem here exactly?" (she says, politely)
"Your card doesn't work."
"Well, how do you know? What does the machine say? It is invalid? Or just not deducting? Overdrawn? Does it SAY it was used too recent..."
"Pay the fare, ma'am."
"This is supposed to be a transfer from the last bus! I shouldn't have to pay again if you can't even tell me why!"
"Pay the fare or get off the bus!"
"What?!"
"PAY THE FARE OR GET OFF THE BUS!"
"You are freaking kidding! Unbelievable!! FINE!"
(And she stomps to the back of the bus to beg change from her coworkers.)

At this point, the slow forward momentum of the bus comes to a screeching halt, and I nearly fall down in the aisle.

Mr. Driver is standing at the front of the bus, feet planted like a gunslinger, pointing at me and yelling: "PAY THE FARE BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE!!"

Me (shouting back across the length of the bus and over several Mexican women): "I'M COMING, FOR F***'S SAKE!!"

Marching back to the front of the bus, I end up nose to nose with Mr. Driver, and holding my two dollars above the machine, I whisper in a voice of barely suppressed rage:
"Here's your two dollars. But I shouldn't have to pay this. I already paid, my card works, and you are rude and an idiot."
(money enters machine)
Mr. Driver: "Get off my bus!"
"No. I already paid."
"GET OFF MY BUS OR I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!"
"NO! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE HERE! AND I WANT YOUR BADGE NUMBER!"
"Well then find it."

And we stood there glaring at each other, while the rest of the bus waited for the climax of our epic faceoff.

Eventually I spotted his badge number and ferociously scribbled it down while I scowled at him, and then stomped back to my seat, while he continued glaring at me in the rearview mirror.

The best part: A few minutes later the old lady sitting next to me leaned over and whispered, very knowingly, as only old ladies can, "He's kind of bastard..."

About a week later, after calling twice and sending two emails and a letter to the CTA, I received the following note: "As soon as your initial complaint was received, it was immediately forwarded to the General Manager of the garage where the #60 route originates to begin an investigation. That review showed your card actually did register the 25-cent transfer fee when you boarded the #60 bus at about 2:47 p.m., so we will have to check the farebox to see if there was a malfunction."

And that's basically the end. I guess this story is a bit anticlimactic after all that shouting' and stompin'. It would have been better if we'd had a throwdown in the aisle, and then Mr. Driver went unconscious after my wicked pile driver, and then I'd commandeered the bus and given free rides for everyone. And tootsie rolls. Yeah. That would have been awesome. Maybe next time.

Next up: Sleep Talking or Cadaver Life (or Living Cadavers Talking in Their Sleep... one of those).

denouement

this blog is hardly a current events-linking kind of place, but since i went on at length about it as recently as last week, i thought i'd update you all with this bit of news.

like i was saying, that was some monumentally bad coaching there. restore the order, US soccer!

for the record, when callahan gets fired at the end of the season, i probably won't post anything about it. but i will be pretty happy about that, too.

Plugs for Blogs

Faithful readers, while we wait for the final results of Jeremy's reader poll, a commercial break...

At the request of my dear, dear friend, the elusive and perhaps fictional Mr. Derrick Fudge, who is trying to take over the world, I am informing you of the existence of his collection of blogs, all of which fill my days with meaning and make life worth living. He is currently in a push to more effectively spread his propaganda across the cyber universe, and he needs more of the masses to read. So, masses, unite!

• For general insanity: thedevilishlyfantasticderrickfudge.blogspot.com (Warning: this blog contains a high ludicrous quotient.)
  
• For thorough reviews on everything from pretzels to presbyterian churches: ratingsrantingsandresponce.blogspot.com
• For more sane meditations on theology and grad school by Derrick's 100% more actual alter ego, Mr. Jeremy Pietsch of Seattle: ischangepossible.blogspot.com

Please note, the Howe Jr. family cannot be held responsible for any brain damage resulting from exposure to these blogs. Enter at your own risk.

P.S. Mr. Jeremy Pietsch/Derrick Fudge. I now consider my debt to you paid in full, you treacherous fiend.

life imitates art

the votes are in, and...US women's soccer wins. i'm not gonna lie, i'm kind of surprised. suddenly i feel a little self-conscious, like i made the title too interesting and only disappointment can follow. but i'm telling myself that if this is boring it's your fault because you picked this topic.

this is now old news, but i guess that's the advantage of writing about the women's world cup--for all you know, the final is going to be played tomorrow night in pakistan (actually: last month in china). so just in case you didn't get up at 5am during the tournament to catch the US attempt to win their third world cup (did you know we're actually good at women's soccer? this is hopefully not the greatest success that feminism's struggle has brought our country, but it's a nice bonus), here's the story:

the united states played well, but perhaps not as dominantly as many had expected, in winning their first round group. they advanced to a semifinal game against brazil, which was certain to test the team more than any of their first games had. just before the semifinal, US coach greg ryan made the unexpected move of pulling starting goalkeeper hope solo for 36 year old backup briana scurry. after allowing 2 goals in the first game of the tournament (while the US played short one player), solo had strung together some 300 consecutive minutes without allowing a goal, and by all accounts was in excellent form (she also started almost all of the 50+ consecutive games they'd won coming in to the semi). scurry, on the other hand, hadn't started or played in months and was doubtlessly rusty. coach ryan made this decision because he believed scurry would be good at the kind of reaction saves brazil's insanely loaded and creative offense would presumably necessitate. he based this on scurry's performances against brazil, especially what was probably the best game of her career in the olympic semifinals three years ago. to say this decision was risky is to say it's reckless to drive 100 mph through downtown chicago. without a seat belt. drunk. blindfolded. and...with really hot coffee in your lap. as most people might have predicted, the US fell apart and lost badly (4-0), the team's unity was shaken, solo criticized her coach, and was completely ostracized from the team.

because the idiocy of the decision was so mind-boggling, and because just saying "worst coaching ever!" didn't quite satisfy my need to quantify the truly awe-inspiring display of incompetence, i found myself struggling before the game to think of an analogy, or a corollary, or some famous previous blunder for comparison. i thought there wasn't any, but then i remembered the simpson's episode where a bunch of major league all-stars play for the springfield power plant's softball team. remember that one? in the last inning of the championship, the game is tied and the bases are loaded, and darryl strawberry is up to bat. but then montgomery burns, acting as manager, benches strawberry for a drunk homer simpson, who's been sitting in the dugout drinking beer all game. strawberry protests that he's hit 9 home runs in this game. burns says "you should be very proud" and then explains that the opposing team's pitcher is a lefty, so in sending a right-handed batter to the plate, burns is playing the odds. in addition to being an excellent episode, this episode provides a precedent for our coach ryan. the sheer number of analogous factors makes my toes wiggle with satisfaction. in the show, homer gets beaned, passes out, and springfield wins the game. unfortunately for the US, nothing really exciting happens when you get hit with the ball in soccer (although even that would have necessitated scurry reaching the ball before it went into the goal), and the US suffered its worst loss ever, lost a shot at winning the world cup, and risked losing one of the best goalies in the world.

"this is all well and good, jeremy, but i've just spent 10 minutes reading this--do you have a point?" that is an excellent question, and i'm glad you asked, reader! i'm not sure, so here's a multiple choice-style conclusion to this post:

a.) coach ryan is maybe the worst coach in the history of women's soccer. he may also be the worst coach in the history of coaching, women, and history.
b.) there's a simpsons reference for everything that happens in life!
c.) apparently there's world cup for women, too.
d.) none of the above. and i want my ten minutes back!

also, i sort of liked the way this voting thing worked, so i think i'm going to make it a permanent fixture. some titles will change, some will stay, and new ones will be added. so pick your favorite...

1. sleep talking
2. faq med school [include a question]
3. kim vs. the chicago transit authority
4. critical mass [formerly known as "biggest bike ride ever"]
5. my life with a cadaver

the interactive gimmick blog post

last weekend kim and i went with some med friends to a show called "too much light makes the baby go blind". it's a theatrical production consisting of 30 short (about 2 minutes) skits. at the beginning of the show, each audience member is given a list of the titles of the 30 skits, and are invited to, at the end of each skit, shout out the number of the skit they want to see next. the first number a cast member hears will then be performed. it was a really entertaining evening, and while there were mixed results, i thought overall it was a pretty cool setup. so i've decided to rip off the concept for the blog, which lately has been in need of a shakeup.

so, since just going by who says something first would result in the much less gratifying result of only having one person respond in the comments box, this is going to be a vote. below i have the titles of several potential, prospective blog entries, and you all must now decide which one gets written. so shout out a number and i'll write the winner:

1. security nazi
2. biggest bike ride ever
3. sleep talking
4. jeremy talks about music he likes lately
5. life imitates art: the women's world cup and the simpsons.
6. i've found that some effective study habits developed in kindergarten are also pretty good for med school, too.

life in the city

when i moved out to chicago, one of the big exciting reasons for being here was the rock shows--chicago is obviously a big city, but it's also a music city, so there's a non-stop supply of excellent shows coming to town. and when i got here i was not disappointed with what was on offer. among others, i saw modest mouse, bjork, menomena (to name three bands i'd never seen before but really wanted to), and have just really enjoyed the scene out here. what i hadn't thought of, though, is how hard it is to be in a town with all those great shows and be so busy i can't go to them. last weekend the flaming lips, bloc party, and andrew bird were in town, for example. meanwhile i had a physiology test to study for. or a really great show will come to town (the national and st. vincent next saturday), and i will be unsure of my schedule and the show will sell out by the time i know i can go. (sad!)

while missing the music is sad, though, i also hadn't thought much about all the soccer that would come to town. this sunday kim and i and some M1's from school went to see the US play an awesome game against brazil. i high-fived and hugged friends and strangers, i screamed until my voice was hoarse (and screamed some more), and left feeling pretty good about US soccer again. we played really well, taking the early lead, and then pulling even again at 2-2. and when ronaldinho scored on a curling free kick to make it 3-2, the disappointment of going behind was eased by the excitement of having seen such a wonder in person.

in other headline-worthy news, last night the new stereo finally came in the mail. you may recall, as part of God's "happy birthday lightning extravaganza" package, i got the opportunity to replace my fried stereo with something new. and behold the wondrous result:



look at its switches! its knobs! its needles! it's so glooooorious! after a couple weeks without music in the house (an eternity!), kim and i celebrated our new arrangement (which also includes a new replacement wireless router with wireless music capability) by setting up camp on the couch and listening to music (well, and sleeping) for a few hours. yay, music!

Adulthood Update

Hello family and peeps around the world.

I have some big news. I am a grown up now and I have proof. Hard evidence in the form of an annual salary and a health plan.

As of Monday, I will be starting my first ever full-time adult-type job. Of course, I haven't been sitting around twiddling my thumbs, but until now in my life, people have overlooked that little part about adequate reimbursement. Usually around April 15, the IRS sends me a little note that says, "We are sorry about your sad situation. Here's some money for groceries."

But after much looking, I've been hired by the University of Chicago as faculty in their Literacy Department. Basically, in the mornings I'll be working at Head Start locations with a team of Americorps volunteers, teaching English to the parents of Head Start kids, and in the afternoons I'll focus on mentoring the Americorps folks, who are all local community members - GED students, moms whose kids are in school, etc.

So it'll be a really great blend of classroom time and relational focus, with lots of strategy and challenge. AND, I work like 5 minutes from Jer's classes, am on an academic schedule (so we get the same breaks), and get FREE TUITION at UIC! Whee! Higher education, here I come! And of course there's that bit about having a real income for a change.

Plus, to top it all off, in congratulations for getting the job, the Howe parentals sent me a lovely houseplant (the houseplant of my dreams!) so not only do I have a job, I also have a kick-butt plant.

Really. Could life get any better?
(Yes. But it would involve more houseplants, probably.)

the first week

i have now completed one week of medical school. that is to say, i am now a medical student, for real. i guess this means i have a career track--i am ON a career track. i will one day, barring lots of persistent failing of exams, be a doctor. i'm not sure if that's scarier for me or for my future patients, but it's not all gloom and despair--it turns out med students know how to party, too.

so on saturday night kim and i went to a party thrown by a fellow m1 here in our neighborhood. there was tasty food and drinks, lots of mixing and getting to know new friends, and discussion of how fast the lectures move, and the homework, and so on. but then, as we all stood on our second floor apartment deck chatting in the evening air, a group of neighborhood kids walked up the back alley armed with water balloons and unloaded on us. one of my classmates tried to catch them to throw them back, but a much more resourceful student began throwing chicken wings and sandwich squares until they ran out of balloons and fled the scene. these events repeated themselves about a half hour later, this time with more words exchanged. a particularly mouthy 11 year old boy responded to some taunting from the students by shouting "don't make me go stone cold steve austin on you!", which left pretty much all of us on the deck speechless--how do you respond to that kind of threat?

a bit later, a kid from the group came alone with a plastic bag and walked away. the bag was full of several filled balloons, a bag of empty ones, and those faucet adaptors that seem great in theory but never really work out--they were inviting us to join in the arms race toward some wonderful kind of mutually assured saturation, and we were more than willing.

it was a pretty good first week, and a pretty great party.

26 and On Fire

Yesterday was Jeremy Howe's birthday.

And for his birthday, he got hit by lightning.

Well, not so much HE personally, as the apartment in which he resides with his lovely wife.

About 11 pm last night a huge storm was circling our neighborhood, when suddenly it felt like we were inside of a firing gun or the exploding part of a firework. Crazy flashes of light, huge cracks of noise and sizzly sounds, and phantom smokey smells. It made the hair stand up on your arms and your heart skip around inside your ribcage like a wee bunny rabbit. It hit like 5 or 6 times, and all I could think was, "This seems like it should hurt." Like afterwards you ought to check and make sure none of your organs have liquidized.

We have (had) a turret with a weather vane on the roof right above us, which has now been exploded and had its shingles tossed across the street.

But the most interesting part of the whole event is the fact that we have teeming multitudes of insects that happily co-habitate with us, and when the lightning hit, they all simultaneously dropped out of the air, twitching and dead. CRAZY TIMES my friends. Crazy times.

So for Jeremy's birthday, we got our whole apartment building turning into a giant candle, and a free pest extermination.

The end.

Kim vs. The Produce Manager

Jeremy has requested that for my inaugural blog posting, I tell you all how I was forcibly removed from a local establishment this morning. As you can see, he enjoys a) having an outlaw for a wife, b) her public humiliation.

I've been purchasing my own groceries for some time now, and generally can distinguish an "expensive" grocery store from "my" grocery store ("my" grocery store has at least three aisles completely in Spanish). However, I've never really known what stuff is supposed to cost - just how good of a deal am I really getting? A gallon of milk... $1? $2.50? Tomatoes... $.30/lb? $1.50/lb? It's an uncharted area of financial mystery which I usually just leave in the hands of the sullen smock-wearing employees with pricing guns. But today was the first official shopping trip of Howe, Inc. and having recently married a bottomless pit of a stomach, I anticipated a pretty sizable grocery investment. So I thought, today's the day. I will know what everything costs and darn it all, I will get a good deal. So armed with shopping list, pen, and paper, I set out for some hardcore research.

First stop, my old reliable supermarket. I've shopped there for the last 2 years and even supplied our wedding with mountains of lunch meats from the deli. I was halfway through the veggie section, noting with some suspicion that red peppers cost more than green, when I felt a tap on the shoulder.

Stranger: "Can I help you?"
Me: "Um... no?"
"What are you doing there?"
"I'm writing down prices. Is that a problem?"
"Yes it is. We can't have people writing down prices."
"Um... I don't understand."
"Who do you work for? Why are you doing that?"
(Feeling hot under the interrogation lights...) "So I can get a good deal? How else should I do it?"
"Show me your list."
I was feeling a little flustered at this point, so I handed over my notebook, though this was clearly a violation of some federal grocery-privacy act. He proceeded to rifle through the pages.
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."
"Excuse me?"
"You're writing down everything in the store."
"I am not! I skipped the whole cactus and lentil section!"
"These things are obviously not all for you."
"It's our first shopping trip! We eat a lot!"
"I'm sorry ma'am. If you continue to write down prices, you're going to have to leave."
Me: "(mumble mumble)...unbelievable!...ridiculous!... (mumble mumble)" But I dutifully put my paper away, albeit with much show of grumbling and stomping about. (As is my fashion.)

Fast forward to 20 minutes later, having sneakily carried on in the deli section, and then not so sneakily in canned goods, and downright obviously in dairy.

"Ma'am. I'm going to have to escort you out of the store."
And that was it. And all in the name of fiscal responsibility.

Was it worth it, you ask?
Well, let me pose to you THIS question: Should I buy those pork chops for $1.88/lb? Those blueberry pints at 2 for $4? Well, should I?!

Heck yes! And now I know! And knowledge is power--take THAT, The Man!

the end of our endless numbered days

this weekend we took our last trip of this summer, this time to maine, to see my friends chris and tarah get married on the ocean shore. it was pretty much as cool as that sounds--maybe i'll show you some pictures in a minute. and it was a great weekend.

since tomorrow is the start of orientation for med school, kim and i had been planning on getting home and falling gratefully into bed, resting up for the first of many long days. but instead, we opened the door of our apartment and were greeted by the rich aroma of natural gas, so i figured i'd write a blog while we wait for the gas people to come and fix the leak. hey, it's a science experiment--let's see if i write more or less coherently under the influence.

the night of the rehearsal dinner, chris and tarah had me sing a song, which i did at the beach. check out this cool blue atmosphere!






here's the wedding itself. here we see tarah ('s veil), chris, brian the pastor, and tarah's sister ashley and friend megan, who we thought was a pretty great person to know and hang out with. i'm representing for the groom on the other side of the beach, but you just saw a picture of me playing guitar, so i figured you'd be ok not seeing that.

the day after the wedding, chris and tarah and megan and kim and i went whale watching. the boat went fast, which blew our hair back and apparently made me squint my face awkwardly. they say the camera adds ten pounds. and the wind, it adds a good fifteen just to your neck. in pure neck fat.

speaking of fat and all, here's a whale. this is the blue fin whale, which is the second largest of the whales. "whale watching" means riding in a boat for a couple hours and never seeing any more than this much of any whale at any one time. so i'm telling you that this whale is really big, but as i never saw more than this 10 feet of it, i've got to tell you i'm relying a little on extrapolation and a lot on the tour guide, who sounded pretty knowledgeable.

in three-part summary, congratulations chris and tarah; maine is cool; and if i think much about it, i'm a little nervous about tomorrow and the beginning of all that. i'll update you with all that fun soon. in the meantime, i'm gonna go get started on the rest of my life!